broken&dependent

God uses the mess...

2011-11-09T10:32:00.002-06:00

As a "Christian," why does my stomach turn when I use that word to describe myself, I have related with God's words in a lot of different ways throughout my life, so many different ideas, concepts, feelings and thoughts creep into my mind when I consider my relationship with the Word of God. Over the past 6ish years, I have been purified from so many of the ugly associations I have with the Bible, and God has brought me to a place where I can finally connect with it in the context it was meant to connect with us in.

Bottom line is, if we approach God's word with our first intention being anything other than to connect with the heart of God, we will miss the point entirely. The Bible is not foremost about knowledge, instruction or learning, its not mostly about telling a story, it's not even mostly about its characters, God, us, etc. It is mostly about God's desire to glorify himself through the revelation of His heart for a fallen people.

If such a bold statement is tough for you to swallow, I'm sorry. The truth is, until we recognize this, we will never be able to experience the it's ability to, convict, instruct, guide, teach, etc. Our ability to be transformed by the power of God's word is dependent on our ability to connect first with the God of the word in genuine relationship.

I spent a good chunk of my morning in the book of Genesis. An interesting book, seen mostly as the book about creation. The crazy thing is the creation story is such a tiny portion of what the book of Genesis has to offer its reader.

What I found this morning as I read Genesis looking for the heart of God for a broken person... me, is that Genesis is really a story about God choosing to engage with a fallen world, both physical and spiritual. When man chose to sin, it separated us from God, and in an instant gave God the opportunity to show us something that is vital to our understanding of this God. Our behavior, actions and faithfulness are not pre-requisites to God using, forming, giving to, and loving us. He did it all in spite of us. That is the story of Adam and Eve, that is the story of Noah, and Abraham, Sarah and Hagar.

What man conceives in sin, God redeems for His own glory. What man produces in unfaithfulness, God uses to establish His rule in the hearts of people.

In particular, Ishmael, the illegitimate son of Abraham, conceived in his Wife's servant Hagar is an example of how God takes pride, arrogance, unfaithfulness, and deceit and uses it to draw people to himself.

Genesis chapter 16 tells the story of Abram, Sarai, Hagar and the conception of Ishmael. The entire story is filled with problems... Why would God bless, establish, and make great a person who acts and thinks in the crazy ways Abram does? Who is he kidding? The idea of Ismael is the most pure example of human control and pride, and yet just one chapter later in Genesis 17, God makes clear his desire to use brokenness to change the world. Speaking of Ishmael he says...

²⁰ As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I will bless him, and will make him fruitful and will multiply him exceedingly. He shall become the father of twelve princes, and I will make him a great nation.

Wow! This is so cool... bottom line, God is bigger than our mess... he wants to use it to transform us, and turn is into people passionate of loving and serving him.

You're sin is not strong enough of to stain the work of the cross. My deceitful heart is not ugly enough to end the covenant God established with Abraham. God can use my mess, and yours.

Live in the power of this reality today, and every day the rest of your life.

Embracing a concept

2011-08-22T21:59:00.002-05:00

As someone who calls himself a "Christian," or follower of Jesus, I am forced to embrace a concept that is fundamental to the Christian faith. That concept is the idea of persecution and hardship. I read verses like, John 16:33... "in this world, you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world," and realize as a believer, I have to give lip service to the idea that hardship and struggle will be a normal part of my life. So, when I don't have enough money to pay the power bill because I bought a pair of shoes instead, I chalk it up to Christian hardship.

This, quite frankly, is a bunch of bull $%#&!

Sorry if that offended any of my readers! that is if I have any :)

God is doing something really different in my heart right now. I sense that He is preparing me for a really difficult season, and when I say difficult season, I am not talking about low income, or less things, I am talking about real, biblical suffering. To be honest, I only know what that looks like because of the stories I read about in the Bible. I am not sure that any American Christian has any concept of what suffering for the gospel really looks like. I sure don't.

We, as Christians in the American church, need to learn that following Christ is about more than abstract concepts that rarely have direct impact in our lives. What comes first, sold out, powerful faith, or persecution and hardship? It's easy to convince ourselves that persecution just isn't practical in our world today. Afterall, this is America, we have rights, inalienable rights to boot, but does that mean sharing in the sufferings of Christ isn't possible?

I am convinced that opposite is true. The early church wasn't persecuted because of their cultural context, they were persecuted for their radical faith. I believe that persecution and hardship is our avenue to real gospel centered impact, and the reason we aren't experiencing it is because we are more interested in embracing a concept of suffering than the real thing.

We want confortable lives. Our lack of active faith perpetuates a problematic cycle. Consumerism, selfishness and marginalized impact due to dry religion. Persecution is something we ask for when we begin posturing our lives for the gospel. Why did the world hate Jesus? The gospel. Why will they hate us? The gospel. We have gotten too good at working our butts off to be attractive to the world and that places a very real ceiling on our ability to impact our surroundings with the gospel. We need to recognize that the gospel is attractive, no matter how dangerous it really is.

What do we need? we need a new posture... life orientation and pursuit. We need to place all our hope in the work God is doing rather than the work we are capable of doing. We simply need to make ourselves available to people everywhere we go. If we live out the reality of the truth in our lives, it will bring the persecution that marks the lives of the most impactful Christians throughout human history.

Anyone else ready for something more? Ready to die? I'm not, but I want to be. God prepare my heart for embracing the life you lived, and have for me. Thanks for modeling and living it out for me to follow.

2011-06-23T12:12:00.002-05:00

As a boy growing up in southern California, my family spent a lot of time at the beach. It was a recreational activity that we all loved, plus it was free. We would take off most Monday’s since it was my dad’s day off, and spend the whole day swimming, making sand castles, napping, throwing footballs, and just enjoying the sun. Even from the time I was very young, about 6 years old, my dad would take me out into the ocean. Obviously, as a 6 year old, I had a healthy fear of the ocean and it’s waves. It made me feel small, helpless and insecure, but my father’s confidence always put me at ease. He always said, “Once we get out past the waves there will be nothing to worry about, it’s completely peaceful.” In order to get out past the surf, we were forced to go right through it. When the waves were small, my dad would lift me up, and send me shooting over the wave, but as they got bigger, we were forced to go under them. I still remember my dad preparing me for the big waves, he would say, “ ok, here it comes, you ready to go under? On the count of three get as close to the bottom as possible.” As soon as He started counting my heart would begin to beat a million beats per second. I remember vividly the feeling of the wave rushing over me, sometimes I wouldn’t get low enough and the wave tossed me around like a shirt in the washing machine. I would scramble to figure up from down, desperately seeking the surface of the water. As I finally came to the top, I would immediately hear my dad’s voice encouraging, and re-assuring me. Almost as if He had been watching me struggle to find my way, and only jumped in to my aid when I needed it most. When I cried out, he was there, but not always with a hand, sometimes just the encouragement to keep going, keep swimming, and stay focused. With each dive under another wave, I longed for the one that would find me out far enough to be outside the range of the breaking surf. When it came, it was like a rushing sensation of freedom and peace. My dad would pull me toward him, celebrate our victory over the waves, and we would float peacefully over the swells, up and down. IT was here that I remember falling in love with the ocean and the waves. It was my fathers careful, responsive hand that kept me believing I could do it. It was his presence, encouragement and confidence that kept me moving when I wanted to turn back. Most of all, it was knowing that at any moment, I could cry out to him, and in a heart beat he would be at my side, coming to my aid. My father loved me, longed for what was best for me. He wanted to protect me from things I didn’t know were coming, and teach me about things I didn’t know existed. He wanted me to learn to trust him, and depend on him. He wanted me most of all to experience something powerful, and sometimes that meant letting me flounder for a moment. His responsive action to my every emotion was as real and consistent as his presence.

I am preaching a sermon this sunday titled, "Does prayer change God's mind," and although I do not believe i will ultimately be able to harness the mystery of such a question, I think the above story illustrates well the relationship God has with His people, their lives, and their prayers.

It begins with asking if God has emotions for us.

- If God has no emotions for us, then He is a robot, incapable of relationship

- If God has emotions and doesn't respond to our outcries in prayer then He is a tyrant who doesn't want relationship

- Therefore, God must have emotions for His people, and must be responsive to our outcries, pleas, and prayers.

Obviously we know that God is unchanging... sovereign, and omniscient. His foreknowledge could create in our minds a lack of need for prayer. If God knows everything, and His will is unstoppable, then what role can our prayers really play? We cannot change God's mind.

The mystery here has to be wrapped up in the how. If we know God does call us to pray, and He responds emotionally, and acts on our requests, then it's the how that is perplexing. That may be a question we cannot answer, given Paul's sentiments in Romans 11, "Who has know the mind of the Lord..." but we can get a sense of the value of prayer.

A couple thoughts...

1. It's vital to understanding God to know that He is emotionally changed at the heart level by our lives, feelings, prayers, etc. I think to see it any other way is to deny God's love for us.

2. He interacts with us. He doesn't just have emotions that hang out in no mans land. His desire is to interact, be involved, and be Lord of our lives. He wants our fears, hopes, dreams, etc. Interaction is key to any relationship. If He doesn't interact with us, we have no relationship at all. We see all over in scripture God interacting with His people.

3. God moves as a result of our prayers. It's true, weather our prayers are the actual catalyst for that change, I don't know, but we know that our prayers affect change, we see God being swayed by Elijah's prayer, and we see God's anger squelched by Moses' prayer. Prayer works! IT changes things. When we cry out to God with a pure heart, He responds... often times with the very thing we are asking for. Crazy isn't it?

Do we dare claim to serve a God that chooses to let us impact our world? Does it make Him weak? Does it make Him even stronger?

God created man to be in perfect loving relationship with Him. Prayer is our mode of relating with God. IF our prayers are not powerful, impactful, and effective, then the fabric of our faith vanishes in the wind. Prayer works... believe in it. live in it. be transformed by it!

Re-discovering our mission

2011-05-14T10:00:00.002-05:00

Burned the candle last night outlining my next sermon series in the book of acts titled, "Re-discovering our mission." Over the past year of my life God has had me in a very interesting process of considering what the point of church is. When I say church, I mean the program based, Sunday morning service, construct we call church. As a church planter it's an important and interesting question to entertain.

Like so many planters I set out to be something different than everything else out there. Not that everything else out there is bad, but I think everyone who sets out to create desire that it be unique, one of kind, or at least fill a gap. We want to believe there is a point to the efforts, sacrifice and dreaming that comes along with starting something new from nothing.

Ironically, in church planting the accepted formula for success is simply one that leads us down a path to becoming the very thing we didn't want to be... the same old thing. Let's face it, how much difference is there really in the American church today? Not much. Different songs, service order, sermon style, etc. The most, "unique," churches are the ones that are seen as cutting edge, or highly technological. What makes that different?

Here is my point. Through the past few months, I have begun to see a different church emerge in the pages of Acts, that has caused me to ask,

"If the church is meant to reflect the heart of Christ, what should it look like?"

The book of Acts is simply stories of the apostles faithfulness to the mission that Jesus gave them when He left the earth, and empowered them with the holy spirit. His instructions were clear in the final days he had withe them

"Feed my sheep."

"Go make disciples"

"Bear witness to the gospel"

These words have nothing to do with church, especially not the brand that we immediately think of when we hear the word church.

Really what happened in the book of Acts is, people unified around a mission by the power of the Holy Spirit, and it was explosive. As a result of the centrality of the mission in individual lives, that mission spread corporately resulting in the start up of the local church. IN fact there are places in Acts where it seemed the formation of the local church might get in the way of mission and the apostles worked to protect from that.

The appointing of the first church leaders in Acts 6 is a great example of that. The congregation was growing, and there was no one to take care of the needs of the people, so Peter and John appointed people to do so for what? To expand church attendance? No, so they wouldn't have to waste there time on less important things.

They got it! Mission came first!

The truth is, the church as we see it, was never supposed to be what we have made it into. It's actually a bi-product of missional community.

I am not saying that we should imitate every aspect of the early church, but when it comes to the main points, I think the book of Acts accurately portrays the heart of God for the role of the church in the world, and we cannot miss that. It is a people first, program second mentality that we must cultivate. We cannot get so wrapped up in maintaining our comfortable structures that we lose sight of why we exist.

What matter's most is people finding Jesus. If the church is existing for any other reason it will become lifeless, and will soon stop reflecting the heart of God. It's time we get our priorities straight and begin living out the calling we are left upon this earth for.

The world needs Jesus, we are His chosen vehicles to bring the message of hope, and our church structures are actually getting in the way of that possibility for transformation. The sad thing is, it's all in the name of God.

My prayer for this coming series is that we as a church would recognize our calling to mission, and put it first! This could mean significant changes, I don't know, but it has to be taken seriously if we want to follow in the footsteps of the apostles... men and women who had greater impact than we have ever seen in the world since.

Ready for an adventure?

Reflections on "Good Friday."

2011-04-22T15:06:00.003-05:00

Do you think that when Jesus sat with His friends around the dinner table that night passing around bread and wine, urging them to remember His sacrifice, what He had in mind was our version of "Good Friday?" Do you think he was hoping for late night worship services? How about large programs? Did He hope that once a year we would look to the event of the cross and feel sad... guilty... shameful or confused? What was the point? What is the point of Good Friday I wonder?

Ironically the most common feelings in most human beings on Good Friday are things like confusion, shame, guilt and sadness. Almost as if we will hurt Jesus' feelings if we don't take a few moments in the evening on this day to furrow our brow, sadden our face, and be solemn. I guess for me it's always been less about how Jesus is "feeling," and more about how I am feeling. I've never really known how to act, so I sort of make it up. I spend the day a little more contemplative then usual, but I am in essence just putting in my time of feeling sad and guilty.

Can this possibly be what Jesus was after? No way, in fact, I'm convinced today that in fact our typical Christian approach to Good Friday actually steals from and cheapens the impact that this historical event was meant to have. It starts with rejecting one of the most common misconceptions about Good Friday...

My sin forced Jesus to the cross

Believing this is what makes me feel guilty and shameful on a day like today. How could I? It's my fault, my sin, my mess that forced Jesus to endure the suffering and pain of crucifixion.

Believing this makes me want to close my eyes and pretend it's not there. Believing this makes me feel even more guilt for somehow not taking it serious enough. I feel shameful, and imprisoned my own lack of faithfulness. This breads fear, anxiety, guilt and a sense of obligation. All of these things are what Jesus came to rule out of our lives!!!

How is it that we have taken a day that represents the end of condemnation (Romans 8:1), and turned it into a day that we place condemnation on ourselves.

Bottom line, you didn't put Jesus on the cross, I didn't put Jesus on the cross, He went on His own accord. He set aside his position of glory, and took on human flesh, becoming obedient to death on a cross because He chose to. Stop giving yourself so much credit! You and I do not have the power to control the God of the universe. He did it, for free, as a gift, and it was His idea and free choice.

Today, instead of feeling guilty, sad, and shameful; Instead of feeling a sense of obligation about all the Christ did, instead, I want to elevate it and celebrate it by basking in all that it accomplished in my life. That is what gives power to in in my own life. Today I choose the freedom, righteousness, grace and power that the cross offers. I choose to celebrate, not cry. I choose to smile, not frown. I choose to live, because that is why He came, that I might have life, and life to the fullest.

Scripture reminds us that, "It is for freedom, that we have been set free."

Live in it, walk in it and celebrate today, and you will be placing Christ and His work on the cross at center stage in your life. Then, choose to live in it every day for the rest of your lives.

If we celebrate the cross once a year, we have entirely missed the point of what today means. I pray that today, my heart would be set on living in the power the cross gave me, and letting it change the way I live, move and breathe.

So tonight, I am going to reflect on the cross, I am going to worship Him for the gift, and then I am going to watch the Lakers kick the Hornets butts in game 3 of there playoff series, and I am going to celebrate the freedom I have been given to do so! It is for freedom I have been set free.

Thanks you Jesus for giving your Life so that I could have real life! I celebrate you and that life today!

Images from the Almighty...

2010-09-15T19:43:00.002-05:00

33Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! 34For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR? 35Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN? 36For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.

too long

2010-08-22T07:05:00.002-05:00

It has been too long! I never thought I would be one of those people who start a blog and then let it sit silent for months on end. Well, I am that guy now. It's like a website that hasn't been updated since the first week it was launched, seems almost completely useless. Well, if you have given up on waiting to hear from me I understand, but if not, here is a what is swimming around in my head this morning.

I am getting ready to go preach to maybe 70 people this morning a message of hope that has been less than "life changing," for most Christians I know. It's a message of belonging from Romans chapter 8. The big question being asked is, "what do we have in Christ?" What does God's sanctifying work in our lives leave us with?

belonging, adoption, inheritance, honor and glory...

I am struck, in particular, by the language Paul uses as he is introducing the concept of, "Children of God." He uses a phrase that stands out to me...

"Those who walk in the Spirit have not been give a spirit of fear, but a spirit of adoption."

I love that he sets fear and adoption as oppositional forces in this passage. We all need to belong, be part of something, be chosen, and feel connected. When a child is homeless, or has no family, they feel lost, insecure, and full of fear. It will likely impact the way that child views the entire world. But a child with a loving, family to belong to, live with, receive and give love to, the world is right.

As justified, sanctified believers, we have been given a spirit of adoption. We belong to God, He has chosen us to be part of His eternal family. That work He does is not just a formality, no God puts His money where His mouth is. The full inheritance of Christ goes right along with it! We don't just get a piece of the pie, we get the whole freaking pie. We get power, peace, hope, salvation, etc. etc. etc.

How many of us as Christians are setting aside this incredible gift for something so worthless as, "our own lives," we are living, most of us, a shell of the life that is offered to us in unhindered relationship with the father. We have, due to the ongoing sanctifying work of the holy spirit in our lives, the opportunity to live in perfect relationship with God once more. Yeah, perfect, just like Adam and Eve once enjoyed, we can get that back, we can be totally free from the one thing that blocks our connection from him, that being the sin of selfishness. When we surrender, releasing our lives to His power, setting our minds on the Spirit, and allowing him to purge our lives, conforming us into His image, we set ourselves on a path toward unhindered relationship on this earth.

This morning I take hope and refuge in that thought... won't you as well?

Easter Sunday

2010-03-29T09:04:00.002-05:00

I recently heard a pastor make a plea to his congregation to, "Pray for those you have invited to our Easter service." A seemingly great challenge, and in fact, I am never going to be the guy who ever gets in the way of prayer in any context... it's too powerful. But it did get me thinking about how we approach prayer in our lives.

I am convinced that as human beings we are naturally prone to pray prayers that are centered around us and what we want. I guess the ultimate problem I have with this plea above, is that when it comes to eternal impact type things, shouldn't we allow God to dictate where the work is done? Shouldn't that plea have been reversed?

"Invite to our Easter service those you have been praying for."

While it may seem like simple semantics, I think the distinction is everything. You see the first plea is living in a self oriented human ability kind of world. Do your thing, and then, ask God to bless your efforts. When it comes to real life transformation, I can't help but believe that formula will more often then not leave us wondering why God did not do the things we asked Him for.

On the other hand, if I am living and active life of kingdom minded prayer for the people in my life, community, and natural sphere of influence, I allow the Holy Spirit to dictate where and when He decides to show up. You see it takes the responsibility to change someone off of me, and places it on the only shoulders capable of handling that kind of job... The Almighty God. Then, I get to sit back and watch what God will do, and how He will use me to do it.

In this context of inviting people to Easter services, how much more expectant will you be about the the morning if the people you invited are people you have been praying for the Holy Spirit to work in all year? So much more. Ultimately, if I am praying that way, I won't find the need to see, attendance at church as the indicator of the drawing of the Spirit. If God chooses to use our Sunday morning service great, but that is not the end all.

So, this Easter, instead of inviting first, I want to challenge you to pray... first... What if our Easter Sunday services were filled with people that we have been praying for all year long, connecting with, loving and blessing. Something tells me Easter Sunday in American churches might look a little different.

To be filled...

2010-03-27T09:11:00.002-05:00

So, my wife and I are headed into a pretty interesting season of life. Case and point, I found myself spending most of the day last Friday filling out job applications for minimum wage type jobs that require no degree or unique skills to speak of. I am not trying to say there is something wrong with those jobs, or anything, just that it feels strange to be at this stage of my life to be doing something I last did my 2nd year of college.

We are headed toward a season of unknown... well, the one thing we do know, is that life is not going to be easy... practically speaking. Questions about the impact of drastic reduction of time, energy and money are swirling like a tornado in my head and heart, not knowing what the future holds. Is this fair? Is God abandoning us? How can God turn His back on a family that has given it all for His kingdom, for His purposes, and for His glory? Have we done something wrong?

I always get emotional when alone in my car, I guess it is where I am thinking most clearly, or have the least amount of distractions. On Thursday as I was driving home from Life Group, after an amazing time of encouragement, I found myself thinking and contemplating a new question. What is the point of earthly blessings? Why would God choose to give financial prosperity to one, and struggle to another? I realized that for the past 6 years I have been in a season of prosperity. Life has been good, relatively easy, at least practically, so what does this mean that life is changing?

Just then, the next song clicked onto the CD player, and it happened to be a worship song that I have led people in churches on multiple occasions. The last verse of the song goes like this...

This is my prayer in the harvest

where favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

This seed I received I will sow.

Immediately I began thinking,

"For a devoted Kingdom Laborer of Christ, what is the point of earthly blessings."

According to this song, it is only to give it away. Hmmm... can that really be true? Is the only reason God fills us, so we can be emptied again? If that is true, then maybe I can begin to see this season of life as just simply a natural cycle of life with Christ. I have spent the last 6 years of my life being filled, taken care of, blessed, for what? So that I could pat myself on the back and continue on feeling great about how I have taken charge of my life? No, to be poured out again!

It struck me in that moment, that my life is ultimately a tool to be used by God. If He chooses to bless me with earthly blessings, I can see it as simply a sharpening of that tool. My life has more to offer others. I have more to give, not more to hold on to.

Then in the times of dessert, while I am being poured out, I have a greater opportunity to display the love, grace, sacrifice of Christ then ever. Is God still good? Did something change because life got hard? No, not at all. I was simply filled so that God could use me. After all, my greatest opportunities for life change, impact, and closeness with my God is not afforded to me in moments of prosperity, but in moment of trial.

So, I choose to be poured out, I choose to see my life as a tool, I embrace the breaking, using, and re-shaping God desires to do in my life in this next season...

Starbucks here I come!

Immersion: Part 2

2010-01-22T14:18:00.003-06:00

My wife and I like to eat out... that's an understatement. We like to eat out so much that I think if we could, we would eat out for at least one meal every day, maybe more.

Yesterday for the first time in weeks, my wife and I were both home after taking the kids to school, with no where to be! A great feeling by the way. I was sitting on the couch enjoying my regular morning news updates, browsing Facebook and enjoying the quietness of the morning when I heard a deep long sigh, followed by a quiet, but just loud enough, "We're out of eggs... I wonder what I am going to eat for breakfast?"

10 minutes later we are sitting at a table at the Cracker Barrel located conveniently down the street from our house, drinking coffee and enjoying the sounds of discovery our 4 month old Maggie is making. The morning being a little too blissful, I should have seen what was coming next. As we sat talking and laughing, out of the corner of my eye I see one of the serving staff walking towards me and Maggie who is now sitting on my laugh flirting with the entire dining room. As she approached, she never made eye contact with me, but was locked into the gigantic baby eyes that seem to mesmerize middle aged female servers at early morning breakfast joints. Much to my dismay, she walked right up and started handling Maggie as she sat on my lap. She was touching, tickling, and talking in an annoying baby voice to Maggie while I sat there being ignored, and feeling as though my existence had now been minimized down to, "That blob that's holding a really cute baby." I smiled awkwardly trying not to let her see that on the inside I wanted to smack her and say, "Who do you think you are? Get off my daughter, I don't know you!"

I'm not sure which bothers me more, the feeling of being totally overlooked, or the spacial violation of having your infant child handled by a perfect stranger, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that what really bothers me, is that my feelings, and life were a complete after thought to this probably very nice and harmless waitress. What got me was the reality that she decided to interact with Maggie and I 100% on her own terms without a tiny thought to who we were, and what was best for us. What we wanted, and needed were not even so much as an after thought.

The second aspect of the value of immersion is called

Listening

“Listening is watching and sensitively responding to the unspoken and spoken needs of sojourners in ways that demonstrate sincere interest.

- Hugh Halter

As Christians we have become a lot like our waitress at the Cracker Barrel. We see people, we notice people, we interact with people, but it is always on our terms. Most of the time we look at people and make judgements about who they are, and how they are living based on surface stuff like, how they are dressed, what words are coming out of their mouths and what activities they are participating in. Most of the time this leads to a mostly apathetic approach to anyone who is remotely difficult or outside our bubble of interest. The best case scenario coming out of the church is an attitude that approaches the world as a project, which ultimately has the same impact of making people feel de-valued by the church, and by association... God.

The value of immersion has to take into consideration this incredible problem. People do not feel valued by the church, and the people who most closely associate with it simply because we have become like the waitress who is so totally consumed by self that she couldn't, or wouldn't, or didn't know how to approach us with unselfish, listening motives.

There may not be a more honoring and value-giving thing to do than to simply listen. To shut our mouths, and listen a persons heart, words, body language and passions. It says I care.. I care about what you care about. I want to know you, learn to love you, and see the world through your eyes. I want to be your advocate, I want to understand you, I want to be your friend.

this was Jesus style. He approached hurting and broken people with love, understanding, and a desire to show them honor. He listened as often as he spoke. He connected eyes, shared life, and in that vain offered a new approach to life, a freeing, god-seeking, peace-giving existence.

We have to start listening, and by listening I don't just mean, the decoding of information spoken by another persons mouth, I mean looking into people's souls, seeing hurt, acknowledging that often times the true feelings and heart of a person are never spoken in word form.

Listening takes time, energy, and intentionality. It's hard, time consuming and messy. We cannot be in position to listen and connect with people unless we are ready to hear their language and begin speaking it as well.

My 4 month old daughter makes very strange noises, and I have seen this value of listening on display with her. When she starts jabbering on, I have noticed that she is, through her built in desire for relationships, calling out to connect. She wants to connect with people, she is not just screaming because it sounds good, but she is, in her own way saying, hey! listen to me! I know this because I have made a point to listen to her, and respond appropriately. So I echo back her noises, and we go back and forth making completely senseless noises, but as we do, I sense our connection growing deeper. I listen to the subtle changes in her noises, and attempt to echo them back. It's almost as if she senses my desire to understand her. What a blast.

The interaction is dependent on 2 things, the listening and the appropriate response, If I listen and then start quoting Shakesphere to her, I will watch the connection begin to fail, She will ultimately lose interest, because I am no longer approaching her in her context, I am now relating in a selfish context.

This is at the heart of immersion. We start by getting into other people's context, then we choose to listen, and sensitively respond to the felt needs of the individual. Does God need us to do this? No, of course not, but these kind of relationships are such a power vehicle for extending the grace of God to our world. What a joy to begin relating to our world in this new way.

To be continued...

Immersion

2010-01-15T15:15:00.004-06:00

At Finding Life Church, one of our 7 core values is what we call immersion. We use a little catch phrase to go along with it in order to define what that means in our context... "People find Jesus through relationship." Of all our core values, this is my favorite. This is what makes Finding Life Church Distinct. This is my answer to people who ask, "Why do we need another church?" or, "what's different about this church than any of the other ones?"

We value immersion!!!

So, I am in the middle of a series at FLC, where I am preaching the core values. The series is titled, "Influence flows from intentionality: Becoming a values living church." My next sermon will be on the value of immersion, so naturally I have been doing a lot of thinking, and contemplating this value. What does it mean? What does it look like? I have always told myself that Immersion is something you do... You go, immerse yourself into something or someone that you value, for the sake of real impact. Now i am not so sure that's what it is.

Immersion is not something you do, it is something you are. The real definition of Immersions, or at least the kind I want to adapt personally and see the people of Finding Life Church grab a hold of is much bigger than that. it is much more radical. It is much more risky. Ultimately, it is much more life changing.

Immersion is really about 5 things, and i think, if one of them is missing, then the potential for impact, is smashed.

Leaving: Going where people are. replacing some personal or christian activities with ones that place you smack dab in the middle of culture.

Typically, in the church we see leaving as going over seas on a short-term missions trip, or venturing down town for a saturday afternoon to volunteer at the local shelter. These are great things, please don't misunderstand me, but these are not what leaving is all about in the conversation on Immersions. Leaving is about altering your life, re-positioning your life, and re-tooling your pursuits so that you are in fact a part of culture. Maybe you are wondering why I am explaining something as obvious as this. Well, I guess it's because in the church we have gotten so good, and expended lots of energy on keeping ourselves separate from culture. We have Bible studies in the homes of Christians that only include Christians, we have pot luck dinners, board meetings, and planning sessions. We have worship services and sunday school classes. The truth is, any church worth it's salt, will have something for you to fill your life with every night of the week. If it's a really good church, it will facilitate a complete and total separation from culture. We can very easily find ourselves in what has become knows as, "The Christian Bubble." It's safe their, our kids are only around other good kids, we don't have be around people that think, look, and act different than we do. Then on occasion we will step out of that bubble and reach out, but keep in mind, we will be heading right back that bubble as soon as possible. Spending too much time out of it after all, might be bad for us, we might be sucked into the world, and all that it propagates. No, the bubble is much safer.

At this point if you are not picking up my sarcasm, then you should probably quit reading, if you have sensed it, please understand my desire is not to offend, but to clarify.

There is a problem, and our wrong understanding of what it means to, "GO," is that problem.

Jesus modeled something totally different than that. He took intentional wrong turns, entered into unwelcoming cities, in order to relate with people who society, especially within the church would have deemed, "Undesirable." When asked why, he simply said, because these are the people I came for. This is why I exist. My life is intentionally positioned right smack dab in the middle of culture, because I came to love the world.

So where are we on this, how do we change it? How do we, "position our lives," in the middle of culture.

The answer, slowly begin replacing christian, or personal activities, with ones that put you where people are. If you like to work out at home with a video, don't stop working out, go get a gym membership, and start working out with people. If you have a Bible study with a bunch of friends, leave the safety of the church building, or home, and take it to a local starbucks.

The first step, and by the way, it is only a first step, is to start re-positioning your life so that you have a natural connection with the world.

Imagine if the church, was more intent on bringing the grace of God into the market place, than we are with making sure our kids have the "right," to pray in school. Or petition the congressman to keep the 10 commandments posted on the walls of the local court house. We can be the incarnation of Jesus in the darkest places of this world, it begins with re-orienting ourselves with that world we have neglected for so many years.

To be continued...

Turning 30... (Part II)

2010-01-09T13:43:00.002-06:00

After posting about turning 30 last week, I continued to reflect on some of those thoughts, so I figured it is only right to continue the conversation here as well.

I began to realize that the biggest trap, and greatest enemy of true incarnational living is mediocre, earthly kingdom success. Let me clarify.

In part one I made the reference to the people at my 3oth birthday party, and that the lack of non-church people was staggering. I have in essence become someone who doesn't have any close friends who are outside the church. I realized in my continued reflection the real reason why, is that I have become happy with where God has me. I have become comfortable with the current impact I am having.

I have lots and lots of un churched friends, I pray daily for those people, and go out of my way to love, and relate with them on their terms. I have seen countless people being drawn to the feet of the savior through those relationships.

This is the trap! I am comfortable with a very earthly kind of impact.

What I think God is calling me to goes beyond simply, pursuing unchurched folks for the sake of making them churched. If that is the goal, that is a sad, short sighted pursuit. What God is calling me to, is to so invest, live among, listen to and pray for everyone I come in contact with, that they become people I love because we have a close intimate connection. This is the stream in which God has the opportunity to speak into a persons heart.

When I choose to intentionally love, bless, connect with, pray for and serve the people God places right in front of me, I create a breeding ground for the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people. This kind of impact is lasting, this kind of impact doesn't end here, it is a living, multiplying entity, that can in fact reach to the ends of the earth.

This is the new focus of my life. People find Jesus through real, no strings attached, loving, connected relationship. This is the model we get from Christ, this is a powerful pursuit.

So, birthday parties, can be a great gauge of my success that accomplishing this mission. If I am in fact building a lifestyle that centers around people, and connectedness to the world with the love and grace of Christ, with no strings attached, those closest to me will include all types of people. You don't have to be a christian to connect with me in real relationship. We are connected in our pursuit of God, of truth, of what's real. We are connected in our desperate, and common need for real relationship.

Turning 30...

2010-01-06T14:05:00.002-06:00

I turned 30 last month. That's right, the beginning of the end, it's all down hill, I'll never be young again right? As much as I want to believe that isn't true, my world is telling me otherwise.

I am a father of an 8 year old girl, which means shows like Hannah Montana, Phinneas and Pherb, Kid vs. Kat, and many others are staples in my house. Especially on snow days.

Today is a snow day, and though it's been almost a month since that dark, end of the world day, a day I thought I had moved on from, one of these shows made me realize maybe I'm not as, "Ok," with this whole turning 30 thing as I thought.

The show is Wizards of Waverly place. It's a show about a family of Wizards that are trying to assimilate into normal western society by putting aside magic so as to, fit in. The star of the show, Alex, the fast talking, often disrespectful, and always sassy teenage girl that I am allowing my 8 year old to idolize, is sitting on the the stoop of her parents restaurant, talking. It is the end of the show, and as always, the writers are half heartedly attempting to redeem the show by making tagging a generic, "Moral of the story," lesson to excuse the flurry of value-less dialogue that has just flooded the minds of our future.

I still have no idea what the show was about, but I remember them Alex saying to her friend something like this, "That won't happen until we are really old, like 30!"

Thanks Alex, I thought I was over this 30 thing, and you re-exposed the wound that I had covered up with a band-aid. I began to reflect once more on what it means to turn 30.

I had a 30th birthday party this year with lots of friends, good food, drinks, and conversation. They sang happy birthday to me, and I ate lots of my favorite dessert, banana cream pie.

It was a great time, all except one glaring problem. At least it was glaring to me, and this glaring problem will always characterize for me, my 30th birthday. It is in fact the exposure of a fairly enormous failure in my life. That's right, my birthday party exposed to me, I huge problem with the way I am living my life.

I am a pastor... I am a pastor of a church plant... I am a pastor of a church plant that claims to be a gospel teaching, gospel living, outward focused ministry, and as I looked around the room at all the good friends that surrounded me, I was struck by a very problematic reality. They were all... Christians.

All of my good friends are christians. Now, I know what you are thinking, what's wrong with that? Isn't that natural? You gravitate toward people like you right?

All those things are true, but the reality for me, at this stage of my life, is that I want to believe God is using me to impact the kingdom. How is that even possible if all I do is surround myself with people who are already part of it? Maybe more problematic is the fact that I am attempting to lead others into a lifestyle of living the gospel in our world, and apparently, I am not doing it myself?

I guess what this fateful day really brings to light is the reality that as the "Church," we have really missed the mark, we have allowed our focus to move from what matters most. We have become so selfish in our understanding of evangelism, that we have actually convinced ourselves that we are being effective at spreading the gospel, without actually befriending people.

The gospel is to be lived, not preached. My life is a walking vessel for the love and grace of God, how can that vessel be effective in the world from a distance?

The biggest crime is that this empathetic, from a distance, throw some money, and maybe a prayer or two at it approach to the gospel has left the world believing that's who God is, when in fact, Jesus was, "The Friend of sinners."

I am thankful for this wake up call, and pray that the next time I have a birthday party, this revelation from God will show as life change, and be evident in the crowd that is there to celebrate with me.

Christmas...

2009-12-26T00:30:00.002-06:00

I have some very scattered thoughts tonight, so this might not come out in any sort of readable form, but i am going to write anyway...

It's been a long couple of days, and yet it seems as though it went by in an instant. It seems like 10 minutes ago that I was counting down the days to Christmas, and now I sit in a leather arm chair at my in-laws, kids in bed, mom and dad winding down, glass of New Castle on the coffee table and Christmas is just an hour and half away from simply being another memory in my ever dwindling vault of Christmas memories.

I am 30 this year, and that in and of itself makes a guy start to think, and take stock of his life. Sure, if you are an over 30 reader you are smirking right now, but venture back for a moment and try to remember what it felt like for you.

I ask myself questions like, have I done enough? Am I who I want to be? Has my existence made a mark on the landscape of humanity?

That last question is really my big one. I realize tonight that I am small, very small, almost meaningless on the grand canvas of the creative timeline of humanity. At the same time, really all I want to know in this moment is that my life will make a mark, something larger than the but print, and moisture ring I am currently leaving. Isn't that what we all want? To know that our lives meant something, changed someone, made a mark?

I don't know, I guess I am just struck by the reality that the things our world and culture tell us are worth pursuing, just might be the very things that are keeping me from really living. I guess what I am most saddened by on this Christmas night is the fact that the pursuits my Christian culture have placed in front of me and so many others are at best simply distracting me from living a life full of real impact and lasting influence.

Things like knowledge, degrees and experience are the things that most people in my position are measure by.

Instead, I would like to be measured by relationships, love, character, passion, heart, grace, justice, mercy, and all of the things that my savior, Jesus Christ measures me on.

If God really valued those things, would he have room in His heart for something as meaningless as a diploma?

All I know is that on this night some 3000 years ago, God decided to place the hope of the world on some very tiny shoulders. The God of the universe in the flesh did not come as a giant, king, or debutant. He came as a small, humble, yet loving, merciful, meek, and sacrificial man. That is who I want to be, That is what I want the next decade of my life to be measured by.

Thank you Jesus for being my living example. I want to imitate you and be the grace of God lived out in flesh as I walk with those who so desperately seek that hope

Influence flows from intentionality

2009-10-21T08:50:00.004-05:00

I want to have influence in this world. People ask me all the time why I decided to plant a church, and most of the time my answer is the same... "I'm not sure." You might wonder how a guy can get into something as exhausting as church planting not knowing why. Well, it's not that I don't have my reasons for church planting, it's that church planting, like anything in life is full of challenges that almost daily cause me to question why I do what I do. That is why I have to boil it down the the simplest, most clearly defined reason for my existence.

I want to have influence

I want to have the kind of influence that lasts past today, past my life, past the existence of this world. I want my influence to have some form impact hat last for eternity. That is why I do what I do.

More and more I have been thinking about how to make that happen. Is it about having the right church programs, going to the right place, or being with the right people? Some would say all of those things are important, I however have decided that the extent of my influence will be connected to the extent of my intentionality.

Things don't happen by themselves, they don't happen organically when it comes to real life influence, they come out of intentional living. If I want to be the kind of person that has lasting impact, I have to be intentional about the way I live. for example...

If my goal in life is to be the best guitar player in the world, it will not happen by thinking positive thoughts, or talking to lots of great guitar players, it won't even happen by listening to a lot of great music. It will happen by me deciding what it takes to achieve my goal, and intentionally pursing those things for the balance of my life. I need to know what I am after, and I need to sacrifice everything for the sake of becoming the kind of person that will be that objective.

I have grown weary of church movements that have come to the conclusion that we will have an eternal impact simply by relating with people. If we set out with our ultimate end being relating with people we will become what? Really good networkers, with lots of friends who have lots of great conversation. We will not have eternal kingdom impact unless we decide to be intentional about it.

So what are your core values? What are you living for? Do they support the mission you have for your life? If not, that's where it begins. So many of us live life by accident. Life with Christ is about being intentional about the things God cares most about. When we look at the life of Christ we see the kind of singular focus that we are called to in pursuit of a life worth living.

So what you ask is worth living for....

Intimacy with Jesus, and passion for the Kingdom of God.

It begins and ends there.

Rebellion vs. Conviction

2009-09-30T16:58:00.003-05:00

I like to think I have made a habit in my life of swimming up stream, going against the grain, living for something different. When I look at my life, and it's pursuits, I see that to be true in some ways, and not so true in others. Certainly my career choice, and devotion to Christ sets me apart as a person who is swimming up stream at least in the context of American secular culture.

This week I was thinking about the motives for choosing to be different, and had an epiphany. Here is what I came up with...

"If you are going to swim up stream, do it with conviction, not rebellion. Conviction is intentional, rebellion is reactionary."

For most of my life I have been a go with the flow, fit in, don't ruffle any feathers kind of guy. I avoided conflict, wanted to be liked and didn't want to offend. About 3 years ago, in the process of making a significant life change, I decided not to value fitting in anymore. I wanted to be different, I wanted to, "rebel," against everything I thought was wrong with the world, the church, and all of the people involved who I believed were wrong in there pursuits. In doing so, I created rebellion as a value of my life. I wanted to be seen as different, bucking the system, or sticking it to the man, so to speak. This was especially true in the context of church. I saw things in the church that I didn't like, in fact I hated them, and that caused me to react with rebellion. It was anger that was driving my desire for change.

Yesterday afternoon, I was in an online conversation, and somehow it moved to the subject of living life against the grain, swimming up stream. It was then that this concept became clear to me, for the first time really.

A person's desire to, "rebel," most often comes out of a desire to be different, change something, or make a statement of independence. The heart of rebellion however, is anger, and frustration. Rebellion is a reaction to a wrong, so a person living with a heart of rebellion is actually not in control or independent at all. Their desperate attempt to change things has them living a life enslaved to whatever it is they are rebelling against.

rebellion is not calculated, it is a reaction, and any time we react with un calculated emotion, we are being controlled by whatever or whoever we are reacting to. This stands in direct opposition to all that a "rebel," is trying to attain. Unless that person is a rebel simply because they want to be. The heart of rebellion is selfish, it is unkind, and lacks vision. It is most often not well thought out, or founded upon anything. There is no room for rebellion in the church. God is calling us to speak the truth in love, not in anger and frustration.

I don't want to live my life on un calculated emotion. I want to live my life, set my values, and interact with people based on conviction. Being different isn't at all about sticking it to someone, or standing in opposition. No, in our world today, the unique individual is the one who lives their life on purpose, with intentionality, with conviction.

Conviction is different than rebellion. Conviction says, this is the way I choose to live my life, and it is for these reasons, and it doesn't really matter what anyone else does, this is who I am. It is not angry, it is not based on emotion, it is based on a calculated, intentional values driven pursuit. It doesn't force anyone else to live the same way, it isn't even asking for that. It is a simple statement about values.

Ultimately rebellion comes from a desire to see things change, and in my anger and frustration I was unable to see that in that state, I would never change anyone, or anything. It is when we step back, humble ourselves, and let conviction rule that we become people that have potential for lasting impact.

Things kids say...

2009-09-10T10:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday when I woke my 6 year old son up for school I was greeted with a response that I have grown accustom to. You see my son has a part of his brain that I am convinced no one else has, or at least no one else uses. When he goes to sleep at night he logs a whole bunch of one phrase ideas in his brain that he heard from that day. He saves them like a hard drive, and for some reason when he wakes up in the morning they are right there waiting to be used with reckless abandon. This particular morning he woke up and said.

"Did you know that people can die with their eyes open."

I have no idea why he decided this was the right way to greet me on a Wednesday morning, but that was it, not hi daddy, not good morning, no he had been intentionally logging this phrase on his memories hard drive so that he could spout it to the first person he saw the next day.

It's pretty amazing how the human brain works. It can remember and re use things that we had no idea we were logging.

As we get older we learn how to control our brain, and it's functions, ultimately leading to a lifestyle that intentionally keeps people at bay. We use only parts of our brain that are safe, and we seem to learn how to keep at bay the parts that might open us up to public rejection. My son Neal still has not learned that skill yet. He says what he thinks, and does not filter a single word. I can't help but wonder what our world would be like if we never grew up and learned how to hide our emotions the way we do. What if we were all walking around saying the first thing that came to our mind.

For example, a man with a white beard walks by, everyone things, hey that guy looks like Santa! Our adult brains think it, and wouldn't dare say it out loud. Neal... well, he says it, and not only does he say it, but he says it at a volume that anyone in a three block radius could hear it (I wonder where he got that).

For the most part this skill is a good thing, if we said everything we thought it would likely create a whole lot of problems, but this important skill has also taught us that we can construct an image we want people to see, and present it weather it's who we are or not. We have learned how to live our lives completely void of any real relationships.

I think that when God compares us to children in how we should approach Him, this is at least partly what He means. We can pretend with people, we cannot pretend with God. Maybe the more important truth is that we don't have to. People cannot handle every thought in our brain, but God can. What if we lived life simply sharing every thought, emotion, and idea with our God. What if we didn't filter with Him. We would be giving God our anger, fear, insecurity, joy, pain, hopes and dreams on a moment by moment basis. God has the ability to see and know our hearts, and it's this kind of intimacy that He longs to share with us. It is in this context that we allow God access to alter the state of our heart.

The Way God Works

2009-08-21T11:58:00.002-05:00

So you've heard that old cliche, "God works in mysterious ways." At this point I feel like I've heard that statement enough times out of context, that more often than not it makes me want to stick my finger in my eye and swirl it around (Sorry for the less than tasteful imagery). 9 times out of 10 when a person makes that statement they are referring to some sort of earthly blessing that they have decided must be connected to God working in their lives. It's usually something like this...

"So last week as I got in my car to drive to work, I noticed that my gas tank was on empty. I was super late, and was just angry with myself for forgetting to do it the night before. So, with a disgruntled attitude I sped my way to the closest gas station. I got out quickly, filled my tank, and sped away as quick as possible. When lunch rolled around, I headed across the street as usual to grab a bite from the local B-B-Q joint, amazing ribs! I ordered my food, watched the cashier ring my up reached for my wallet and my worst nightmare was realized. I had lost my wallet. I proceeded to run out of the restaurant in a panic, convinced I had left it at the gas station that morning. When I arrived at the gas station I ran in, and sure enough the cashier pulled it out from behind the counter remembering me from earlier that day. As I walked out the door, I looked down, and saw a lottery ticket lying in the street. I bent over to pick it up noticing it had not been scratched. To make a long story short, I had found a winning ticket, and won myself $500. All that stuff that I thought was a major head ache, led me to find $500 laying in the street. Can you believe that?

God Works in mysterious ways!"

As you attempt to continue reading this while you search for blunt object to jam into your eye, you are likely thinking what I am thinking. God doesn't care about you being rich! It's true, God cares about you being His!

All that is really to say that although that statement has grown tired, it doesn't change the reality that it's true. It's not true because God miraculously makes every hard circumstance with a happy ending, it's true because God is in the business of changing lives, and any time broken sinful people find new life in Him, it is, "MYSTERIOUS!"

I feel like the last week has shown me many of these kinds of situations, God has been moving in my midst, changing lives, healing hearts, drawing people to himself for all of time, but this week I have been blessed to be apart of that mystery in ways that I have rarely had the opportunity to experience. God is a mystery, and when he applies His grace to the life of a broken sinner, it is a wild ride. You can bet on it being ugly, hard, painful, and long, but you can also bet on it being exciting, and most of all mysterious.

If you feel like you have seen God in action, and don't stand in silence wondering how on earth that just happened, you have not experienced God.

He is unexplainable, all powerful, and beyond anything we have ever known in this world.

Truly, God works in mysterious ways.

The Means cannot become the end!

2009-07-28T11:28:00.002-05:00

I recently heard a commentary on church planting that mostly had to do with creativity, vision, and innovation, three words that have always been values of mine... at least in theory. I want to be apart of a movement that is fresh, vibrant, and innovative. I think everyone does, in fact I would go as far as to say, what's the point of starting something new if it's just a carbon copy of something that already exists. These thoughts launched me into a thoughtful brainstorming session in my own mind and heart, a practice that has become somewhat habitual for me. I started asking myself questions about these ideas. You see, the church planting movement in America has really latched on to the concept of innovation in churches. It has become one of the driving values for all the, "Material," out their on church planting, and while I agree with the value, I am wondering if there is a danger connected to holding this as a very high value.

I recently attended the largest church planting seminar in North America, called exponential. It was a fantastic time learning new methods, being encouraged by those in my same shoes, and hearing from leaders who have been successful in planting, and learning what gave them the best opportunity for success. So much to learn! Anyway, the most staggering element of this conference was the vast number of resources available for church planters in America. We are talking innovation at it's best. The church hosting the conference had some 5,000 sq feet worth of booths and displays each having a new innovative approach to church programing. We are talking about cutting edge innovation. Hi-tech people counting software, nursery check-in programs, advertising strategies, and many more. It was quite a sight to see. One of the things I wonder constantly, is have we gotten carried away? Does God really care about all this? Does He hold it as a value? Did the great fathers of our faith care this much about dreaming, creating and innovating?

As I look at scripture I can't help wonder what Paul might say if he were to gaze upon the light shows, media presentations, and hi-tech programming we are using in churches these days. Would he appreciate it? Would he hate it? I don't know, but the one thing I do know is that he would be fine with any set of means that justifies the end. What is Paul's end? People finding Jesus. We see his heart

Acts 20:24 

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Again we see a very simple one track mind from Paul in 1 Corinthians...

but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

Paul's focus is uncanny. He has not lost sight of what matters most, and yet at the same time is willing to do anything to help people find Jesus.

Here's the point I think Paul would look down the hall of booths and tables at exponential, the church planting conference, and have one thought... "Is this stuff doing the job of bring the light of salvation to as many people as possible? If the answer is yes, then keep doing it." I don't think he would get caught up in who's presentation is better, which sign looks cooler, and which program is more cutting edge.

Our lesson as church planters, and visionaries from Paul, is to not let the means become the end. If we ever get to the point where we value innovation and creativity in ministry more than, or even equal to what matters most, people connecting with God, and being saved from the pit of hell, we have gone off a dangerous cliff.

We need to consider all things as optional tools to meeting the ultimate end, and never over value the means. Some people get to the end through street evangelism, some through huge in church programs, others through personal relationships. Some are more effective than others, but the only thing that makes one right and another wrong is the motive.

Are you in love with your means? or are you in for the end result?

This is the pivotal question for a visionary kingdom laborer!

Big Day

2009-07-14T21:13:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I am going in for ankle surgery, I am not looking forward to being down for 2 months, then beginning 3 months of rehab. I am however looking forward to having a working ankle again for the first time in almost 10 years.

I think we should probably approach God's grace this way

2009-07-11T14:37:00.007-05:00

Lyrics to Forever Holy : Glorious unseen
God, You stand when all has fallen
You embrace the long forgotten
I guess it's just hard to believe
The Grace You've poured out on me
I guess I'm just starting to see
How You're working in me

This is what makes my head spin
You're forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me
This is so overwhelming
You're forever Holy
God of my Salvation
Clothe me in Your Glory, yeah

God, You hold when all is breaking
You restore the tired and aching
I guess it's just hard to believe
The Love You've poured out on me
I guess I'm just starting to see
How You're working in me, whoa Lord

This is what makes my head spin
You're forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me
This is so overwhelming
You're forever Holy
God of my Salvation
Clothe me in Your Glory

Clothe me in Your Glory
Clothe me in Your Glory

This is what makes my head spin
You're forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me
This is so overwhelming
You're forever Holy
God of my Salvation
Clothe me in Your Glory
(2x)
Clothe me in your Glory

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It's a new era...

2009-07-10T10:16:00.002-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, at about 3:30 pm, I found myself in a place doing something I never thought I would do. I have never been one to cry at movies, I don't cry for much of anything truthfully. But yesterday, I was sitting at, are you ready for this? You could lose all respect for my in this moment... I was sitting at the Hannah Montana movie, and found myself in tears. It's true, I can't go on living a lie, the world must know, I am a pretty little girl.

The truth is, I left that movie believing that every father should go see that movie with their daughter, and I dare you to hold back the tears that will be fighting to get out.

I think the largest cause of the tears was the constant theme of a father watching his little girl grow up and become independent. As fathers we want to see our kids learn to make their own decisions, and we pray with all our might they will be the right ones. Decisions that will keep them safe, pure, and protected. At the same time when we begin to see them making decisions on their own, it is one of the scariest things on earth. When those decisions are the right ones, there is this very strange mix of emotions that vary from pride all the way down to fear and even anger.

From the day our kids are born it is a slow, yet consistent movement toward losing them. All of life grows continually closer to independence. It's natural, it's right, it's God's design. So I ask myself, how are we supposed to let them go, at what age, when is it a good thing? The answer, I am convinced, is from day one.

I have another daughter on the way, and all I can cling to for hope in a world that seeks to destroy innocence and purity at the earliest possible age, is that the God of the universe who formed my children in the womb, knows each by name, and tends to the smallest details of their lives, is in fact always keeping them as His own. I can't always be there, I can't always know everything, yet He can... He does... at all times. He never turns a deaf ear, nor does He ever turn His back. as the Psalmist say,

"Where can I go to escape your presence? I go to the depths of the sea, you are their..."

In this moment, I am even slightly choked up simply because I am so amazed by the majesty of my God. His providence is perfect, His arms are love, and His hand is steady. I can attempt to control my children, stress over their decisions, do everything in my power to protect them from the world, and in the end, are they any safer?

No, instead, I will put them each in the hands of my faithful, loving, magnificent God, and I will rest easy knowing that He is able.

Yes, my God is able.

a few thoughts about freedom...

2009-07-04T10:03:00.001-05:00

As American's we take freedom for granted. On the 4th of July, we take the day, well, the whole weekend to recognize the day we became a free nation, but are we really celebrating freedom? The truth is we use this day as an opportunity to once more serve ourselves. Is today really about freedom? It seems to be more about parties, and fire works, friends and family. It seems to be more about the fulfillment selfish desires than freedom. After all, if it were really about freedom, is this how we would spend it?

The very foundations of freedom have nothing to do with fun, fireworks or over indulgence. The basics of freedom are in fact something different entirely. The foundations are freedom are sacrifice, pain and suffering. It is about selflessness, rather than selfishness. I guess it is some sort of celebration of freedom to even be free to take advantage of freedom, but does that create a climate where freedom can grow and expand, or does our approach create a scenario where we end up more enslaved.

Most of the time on the 4th of july we think of freedom in the context of our physical world. Freedom to govern ourselves, that is what our for fathers died for so many years ago, but there is another kind of freedom offered to us, not by the efforts and sacrifice of the military men who have fallen, but by the sacrifice of one man, Jesus Christ, the son of God. His sacrifice gave us freedom from the bonds of sin and death. With one act, Jesus Christ changed the course of human history. He set us free.

It is not so that we can continue to live in the destructive and hurtful behaviors that have lead us to a life of enslavement to ourselves that Jesus gave His life, it is for freedom. Paul tells us,

"It is for freedom, that He has set us free."

Not a real novel concept right? Strangely enough, as human beings we gravitate toward enslavement, and bondage. We love the things that destroy us, and cling to what enslaves us. Why? We are sinful creatures. More than anything today needs to be a about a celebration of the freedom we are all offered in Jesus Christ. We can choose to walk and live in the freedom He gave us, or we can continue to pursue ourselves, and find ourselves digging a deeper and deeper whole of slavery for our lives.

When we truly understand this freedom, it doesn't lead to a life of wielding that freedom to those less fortunate, or taking advantage of the freedom we have. It doesn't lead to a selfish pursuit of whatever makes me happy. It leads ultimately to a life willing to sacrifice for the sake of others knowing the same kind of freedom. How have we as American's gotten to the point where we so enjoy or freedom that we view others as less than us, or less important simply because they don't have it? No, if we truly understood freedom, we would stop at nothing to see as many people as possible living in that freedom as well.

This is my hearts cry, this is what I live for. I want to daily lay down my life so that even one more person can understand the freedom offered in Jesus. I want my freedom to create in me a sense of burden for those who don't know freedom, a life of mourning for the oppressed. This is the life worth living.

So this 4th of July, we each have a choice. Freedom is freedom, and no one can tell you how to celebrate it, that's why it's freedom. You can use it, take advantage of it, and ultimately spit in it's face, that is your right, or you can see it as an amazing gift worth giving your life to see others experience it for themselves.

Either way, for us to truly understand freedom and the cost that pays it's price, we need to look no further than the cross of Jesus Christ. It is the cross that is beckoning at all man kind, come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest. The kind of rest that produces freedom known only by those who have put their hope in the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

Happy 4th of July everyone!

P.S. Thank you to the men and women who stand as a human example of freedom's payment. your own lives

Insufficient at my best

2009-07-01T22:02:00.000-05:00

I spend so much of my time trying so hard to be prepared, ready, and equipped to do the work of the gospel, and it seems that in moments where it matters most, my best is still like, "filthy rags." Again following along with the theme of dependence, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this. The amazing thing, and the thing I take great comfort in, is the reality that it seems God finds a way to make good of and use my utter failures to still further his kingdom. For that, I am a grateful man tonight.

"... for they shall be satisfied."

2009-07-01T14:09:00.000-05:00

I paid the bills today, a day that is typically a stressful one in the Brower household. Why you ask? Well, it's not because we don't have enough money to meet our needs, it's most likely because we don't have enough money to meet all our wants. As I was writing out check after check (yeah, I still use paper to pay bills... archaic I know, for some reason it gives me a sense of control, and accomplishment.) I couldn't help but begin meditating on all that we have. More than anything, I was struck by a sense of appreciation for the reality that we have enough money to pay all our bills. We never have to wonder where our next meal is coming from, or how we will pay to keep the air conditioning on. Even after we have spent the first week of our monthly pay cycle buying up whatever feels good, right in the moment, we still have enough to make ends meet. Something about pay day, when the account is full, makes me think I can afford to swipe the old debit card for just about anything that my fleeting heart desires. Don't feel like doing dishes, let's order pizza, been wanting some new clothes, why not, we are loaded? Of course, not thinking about how last month I did the same thing, only to find myself groaning over the reality that after I have paid all the bills, we no longer have a buffer for future impulse buys. We have in essence, spent ourselves to the limits, and will now have to spend the next 20 days being extra careful with how we spend our money.

So naturally the question becomes, why didn't we start the month being careful? Why do we, month in and month out, find ourselves in this position?

It's funny that this month the agonizing adventure of diving into our finances came in the context of me taking a break from my sermon preparations for this Sunday. I am beginning a series this week on, "The Sermon on the Mount." Jesus begins His message to His disciples, and the fortunate eves droppers that happened to be loitering with pretty radical, and counter culture outlook on what it means to live out a life of faith in God. He starts to list what has become known by American Bible readers as, The Beatitudes.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed the merciful," etc.

One of these so called beatitudes has become particularly striking to me in the wake of my war with the finances.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."

I can't help but begin to ask myself in this context, what does it mean to be satisfied. I am today, in this moment, ever aware of my seemingly unquenchable appetite for more things, pleasures, and security. But here, Jesus is telling us that the only way to be truly satisfied is by living in a state of hunger and thirst.

Wait a minute, isn't hunger in direct opposition to satisfaction? How can those two things go hand in hand.

It began to become clear to me... in God's economy, everything is flipped on it's head. I felt in this moment, like the woman at the well asking Jesus, "Where can I get this living water? If I had some, I would never have to draw from the well again?" Even in the context of receiving all that God has to offer me, I am still seeking it for my own earthly gain.

The kind of satisfaction Jesus is talking about, is not the kind that is satisfied with food or drink. It is not found in the acquisition of more money, things, or pleasures. It is found in utter dependence, and intimacy with the creator of the universe.

My monthly bout with money serves as an incredible reminder for me, that all this world is offering me, will never begin to satisfy the hunger and thirst that is in my heart. If i try to fill hunger and thirst with things of this world, I will find myself empty, and broken. When I choose to live a life intent on remaining hungry, embracing the thirst within me, and focusing it on the righteousness God is calling me to pursue, the empty things of this world will ultimately become gray. I will begin to see these things for the false security and fulfillment they actually are.

The more hungry I become for the King and His kingdom, the more satisfied I will daily become.

A few pics to introduce you to my family: Anne Marie, Sadie(8), Neal(6)... and we have one on the way :)

2009-06-30T15:43:00.000-05:00

Is God really in control of everything?

2009-06-30T13:41:00.001-05:00

As the so called, "Professional Religious Guy," often times I dismiss questions like this as they enter my mind. It seems that things greater than human knowledge or understanding often times stick out like a sore thumb on the hand of organized religion. We fear that if we don't have the right answer at the perfect time that people might dismiss us, labeling us as irrelevant, or worse, stop thinking about truth all together. I find it ridiculously silly that as Christian leaders we find ourselves convinced that the God of the universe somehow needs us to defend Him. Why can't we embrace the mystery, love the unknown, and take comfort in the reality that we are pursuing, and are pursued by, a God that is to great to fathom. In all honesty, do you want to put your hope in something that isn't much more powerful than you are?

I just finished a class at Trinity International Divinity school in Bannock Burn, Illinois. It was a crazy intense semester of class crammed into one week. Yeah, it was insane. Anyway, one of the central themes to the class was, the divine attributes God. One of those attributes of that discussion was the providence, and sovereignty of God. This discussion asked questions that relate to God's control, our human free will, and many others. I have always believed for one reason or another that God's sovereignty was necessarily complete, and final. Free will had to be some sort of figment of my imagination, or at least some sort of unfathomable mystery. If God is sovereign, knowing all things before they happen, then do we really have a choice... about anything? Does knowing, automatically assume that God is controlling all things at all times? Of course right? Is God is ever out of control? If so, is He still God?

For the first time I found myself questioning the line of thinking that says, God's sovereignty depends on him being in complete control of all outcomes of every human life, at all times.

Of course we know that God could in fact control everything at all times if He wanted to. If there is anything God can't do, then before we know it, we find ourselves with a God that is not too much different than we are. But is it possible that God could give up, or surrender a piece of His own power for the sake of connecting in real relationship with us as human beings? Could it be the greatest showing of His ultimate sovereignty to choose to lay down His control of our lives and decisions so that we might freely choose to love Him, follow Him pursue Him?

I don't know the answers to all of these questions, but I do know that it ministers to my own soul to simply say these words... "I don't know!" I love serving a God that is too big for me to understand. I love asking ultimate questions that may be unanswerable. I embrace the mystery of a Holy God that is far bigger than I am, and embrace the journey of discovering daily more of the divine attributes of God offered to me in His holy word, and through the revelation of His creation.

My only conclusion is this... Our God is big, I am not, and that makes me wholly dependent on Him!

2009-06-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. I have begun this blog for the sake of communicating my heart to all who are interested in hearing it. I will post daily, short snippets about what I see God doing in my heart, in my family, and in the world around. Not sure if anyone is interested in hearing what I have to say, but if so, thanks. More than anything I hope to inspire anyone who reads, to a an ever-deepening pursuit of truth, and the God who, says, "I am the way, the truth and the Life, no one comes to the father except through me."