Immersion: Part 2

My wife and I like to eat out... that's an understatement. We like to eat out so much that I think if we could, we would eat out for at least one meal every day, maybe more.

Yesterday for the first time in weeks, my wife and I were both home after taking the kids to school, with no where to be! A great feeling by the way. I was sitting on the couch enjoying my regular morning news updates, browsing Facebook and enjoying the quietness of the morning when I heard a deep long sigh, followed by a quiet, but just loud enough, "We're out of eggs... I wonder what I am going to eat for breakfast?"

10 minutes later we are sitting at a table at the Cracker Barrel located conveniently down the street from our house, drinking coffee and enjoying the sounds of discovery our 4 month old Maggie is making. The morning being a little too blissful, I should have seen what was coming next. As we sat talking and laughing, out of the corner of my eye I see one of the serving staff walking towards me and Maggie who is now sitting on my laugh flirting with the entire dining room. As she approached, she never made eye contact with me, but was locked into the gigantic baby eyes that seem to mesmerize middle aged female servers at early morning breakfast joints. Much to my dismay, she walked right up and started handling Maggie as she sat on my lap. She was touching, tickling, and talking in an annoying baby voice to Maggie while I sat there being ignored, and feeling as though my existence had now been minimized down to, "That blob that's holding a really cute baby." I smiled awkwardly trying not to let her see that on the inside I wanted to smack her and say, "Who do you think you are? Get off my daughter, I don't know you!"

I'm not sure which bothers me more, the feeling of being totally overlooked, or the spacial violation of having your infant child handled by a perfect stranger, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that what really bothers me, is that my feelings, and life were a complete after thought to this probably very nice and harmless waitress. What got me was the reality that she decided to interact with Maggie and I 100% on her own terms without a tiny thought to who we were, and what was best for us. What we wanted, and needed were not even so much as an after thought.

The second aspect of the value of immersion is called

Listening

“Listening is watching and sensitively responding to the unspoken and spoken needs of sojourners in ways that demonstrate sincere interest.

- Hugh Halter

As Christians we have become a lot like our waitress at the Cracker Barrel. We see people, we notice people, we interact with people, but it is always on our terms. Most of the time we look at people and make judgements about who they are, and how they are living based on surface stuff like, how they are dressed, what words are coming out of their mouths and what activities they are participating in. Most of the time this leads to a mostly apathetic approach to anyone who is remotely difficult or outside our bubble of interest. The best case scenario coming out of the church is an attitude that approaches the world as a project, which ultimately has the same impact of making people feel de-valued by the church, and by association... God.

The value of immersion has to take into consideration this incredible problem. People do not feel valued by the church, and the people who most closely associate with it simply because we have become like the waitress who is so totally consumed by self that she couldn't, or wouldn't, or didn't know how to approach us with unselfish, listening motives.

There may not be a more honoring and value-giving thing to do than to simply listen. To shut our mouths, and listen a persons heart, words, body language and passions. It says I care.. I care about what you care about. I want to know you, learn to love you, and see the world through your eyes. I want to be your advocate, I want to understand you, I want to be your friend.

this was Jesus style. He approached hurting and broken people with love, understanding, and a desire to show them honor. He listened as often as he spoke. He connected eyes, shared life, and in that vain offered a new approach to life, a freeing, god-seeking, peace-giving existence.

We have to start listening, and by listening I don't just mean, the decoding of information spoken by another persons mouth, I mean looking into people's souls, seeing hurt, acknowledging that often times the true feelings and heart of a person are never spoken in word form.

Listening takes time, energy, and intentionality. It's hard, time consuming and messy. We cannot be in position to listen and connect with people unless we are ready to hear their language and begin speaking it as well.

My 4 month old daughter makes very strange noises, and I have seen this value of listening on display with her. When she starts jabbering on, I have noticed that she is, through her built in desire for relationships, calling out to connect. She wants to connect with people, she is not just screaming because it sounds good, but she is, in her own way saying, hey! listen to me! I know this because I have made a point to listen to her, and respond appropriately. So I echo back her noises, and we go back and forth making completely senseless noises, but as we do, I sense our connection growing deeper. I listen to the subtle changes in her noises, and attempt to echo them back. It's almost as if she senses my desire to understand her. What a blast.

The interaction is dependent on 2 things, the listening and the appropriate response, If I listen and then start quoting Shakesphere to her, I will watch the connection begin to fail, She will ultimately lose interest, because I am no longer approaching her in her context, I am now relating in a selfish context.

This is at the heart of immersion. We start by getting into other people's context, then we choose to listen, and sensitively respond to the felt needs of the individual. Does God need us to do this? No, of course not, but these kind of relationships are such a power vehicle for extending the grace of God to our world. What a joy to begin relating to our world in this new way.

To be continued...

Immersion

At Finding Life Church, one of our 7 core values is what we call immersion. We use a little catch phrase to go along with it in order to define what that means in our context... "People find Jesus through relationship." Of all our core values, this is my favorite. This is what makes Finding Life Church Distinct. This is my answer to people who ask, "Why do we need another church?" or, "what's different about this church than any of the other ones?"

We value immersion!!!

So, I am in the middle of a series at FLC, where I am preaching the core values. The series is titled, "Influence flows from intentionality: Becoming a values living church." My next sermon will be on the value of immersion, so naturally I have been doing a lot of thinking, and contemplating this value. What does it mean? What does it look like? I have always told myself that Immersion is something you do... You go, immerse yourself into something or someone that you value, for the sake of real impact. Now i am not so sure that's what it is.

Immersion is not something you do, it is something you are. The real definition of Immersions, or at least the kind I want to adapt personally and see the people of Finding Life Church grab a hold of is much bigger than that. it is much more radical. It is much more risky. Ultimately, it is much more life changing.

Immersion is really about 5 things, and i think, if one of them is missing, then the potential for impact, is smashed.

Leaving: Going where people are. replacing some personal or christian activities with ones that place you smack dab in the middle of culture.

Typically, in the church we see leaving as going over seas on a short-term missions trip, or venturing down town for a saturday afternoon to volunteer at the local shelter. These are great things, please don't misunderstand me, but these are not what leaving is all about in the conversation on Immersions. Leaving is about altering your life, re-positioning your life, and re-tooling your pursuits so that you are in fact a part of culture. Maybe you are wondering why I am explaining something as obvious as this. Well, I guess it's because in the church we have gotten so good, and expended lots of energy on keeping ourselves separate from culture. We have Bible studies in the homes of Christians that only include Christians, we have pot luck dinners, board meetings, and planning sessions. We have worship services and sunday school classes. The truth is, any church worth it's salt, will have something for you to fill your life with every night of the week. If it's a really good church, it will facilitate a complete and total separation from culture. We can very easily find ourselves in what has become knows as, "The Christian Bubble." It's safe their, our kids are only around other good kids, we don't have be around people that think, look, and act different than we do. Then on occasion we will step out of that bubble and reach out, but keep in mind, we will be heading right back that bubble as soon as possible. Spending too much time out of it after all, might be bad for us, we might be sucked into the world, and all that it propagates. No, the bubble is much safer.

At this point if you are not picking up my sarcasm, then you should probably quit reading, if you have sensed it, please understand my desire is not to offend, but to clarify.

There is a problem, and our wrong understanding of what it means to, "GO," is that problem.

Jesus modeled something totally different than that. He took intentional wrong turns, entered into unwelcoming cities, in order to relate with people who society, especially within the church would have deemed, "Undesirable." When asked why, he simply said, because these are the people I came for. This is why I exist. My life is intentionally positioned right smack dab in the middle of culture, because I came to love the world.

So where are we on this, how do we change it? How do we, "position our lives," in the middle of culture.

The answer, slowly begin replacing christian, or personal activities, with ones that put you where people are. If you like to work out at home with a video, don't stop working out, go get a gym membership, and start working out with people. If you have a Bible study with a bunch of friends, leave the safety of the church building, or home, and take it to a local starbucks.

The first step, and by the way, it is only a first step, is to start re-positioning your life so that you have a natural connection with the world.

Imagine if the church, was more intent on bringing the grace of God into the market place, than we are with making sure our kids have the "right," to pray in school. Or petition the congressman to keep the 10 commandments posted on the walls of the local court house. We can be the incarnation of Jesus in the darkest places of this world, it begins with re-orienting ourselves with that world we have neglected for so many years.

To be continued...

Turning 30... (Part II)

After posting about turning 30 last week, I continued to reflect on some of those thoughts, so I figured it is only right to continue the conversation here as well.

I began to realize that the biggest trap, and greatest enemy of true incarnational living is mediocre, earthly kingdom success. Let me clarify.

In part one I made the reference to the people at my 3oth birthday party, and that the lack of non-church people was staggering. I have in essence become someone who doesn't have any close friends who are outside the church. I realized in my continued reflection the real reason why, is that I have become happy with where God has me. I have become comfortable with the current impact I am having.

I have lots and lots of un churched friends, I pray daily for those people, and go out of my way to love, and relate with them on their terms. I have seen countless people being drawn to the feet of the savior through those relationships.

This is the trap! I am comfortable with a very earthly kind of impact.

What I think God is calling me to goes beyond simply, pursuing unchurched folks for the sake of making them churched. If that is the goal, that is a sad, short sighted pursuit. What God is calling me to, is to so invest, live among, listen to and pray for everyone I come in contact with, that they become people I love because we have a close intimate connection. This is the stream in which God has the opportunity to speak into a persons heart.

When I choose to intentionally love, bless, connect with, pray for and serve the people God places right in front of me, I create a breeding ground for the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people. This kind of impact is lasting, this kind of impact doesn't end here, it is a living, multiplying entity, that can in fact reach to the ends of the earth.

This is the new focus of my life. People find Jesus through real, no strings attached, loving, connected relationship. This is the model we get from Christ, this is a powerful pursuit.

So, birthday parties, can be a great gauge of my success that accomplishing this mission. If I am in fact building a lifestyle that centers around people, and connectedness to the world with the love and grace of Christ, with no strings attached, those closest to me will include all types of people. You don't have to be a christian to connect with me in real relationship. We are connected in our pursuit of God, of truth, of what's real. We are connected in our desperate, and common need for real relationship.

Turning 30...

I turned 30 last month. That's right, the beginning of the end, it's all down hill, I'll never be young again right? As much as I want to believe that isn't true, my world is telling me otherwise.

I am a father of an 8 year old girl, which means shows like Hannah Montana, Phinneas and Pherb, Kid vs. Kat, and many others are staples in my house. Especially on snow days.

Today is a snow day, and though it's been almost a month since that dark, end of the world day, a day I thought I had moved on from, one of these shows made me realize maybe I'm not as, "Ok," with this whole turning 30 thing as I thought.

The show is Wizards of Waverly place. It's a show about a family of Wizards that are trying to assimilate into normal western society by putting aside magic so as to, fit in. The star of the show, Alex, the fast talking, often disrespectful, and always sassy teenage girl that I am allowing my 8 year old to idolize, is sitting on the the stoop of her parents restaurant, talking. It is the end of the show, and as always, the writers are half heartedly attempting to redeem the show by making tagging a generic, "Moral of the story," lesson to excuse the flurry of value-less dialogue that has just flooded the minds of our future.

I still have no idea what the show was about, but I remember them Alex saying to her friend something like this, "That won't happen until we are really old, like 30!"

Thanks Alex, I thought I was over this 30 thing, and you re-exposed the wound that I had covered up with a band-aid. I began to reflect once more on what it means to turn 30.

I had a 30th birthday party this year with lots of friends, good food, drinks, and conversation. They sang happy birthday to me, and I ate lots of my favorite dessert, banana cream pie.

It was a great time, all except one glaring problem. At least it was glaring to me, and this glaring problem will always characterize for me, my 30th birthday. It is in fact the exposure of a fairly enormous failure in my life. That's right, my birthday party exposed to me, I huge problem with the way I am living my life.

I am a pastor... I am a pastor of a church plant... I am a pastor of a church plant that claims to be a gospel teaching, gospel living, outward focused ministry, and as I looked around the room at all the good friends that surrounded me, I was struck by a very problematic reality. They were all... Christians.

All of my good friends are christians. Now, I know what you are thinking, what's wrong with that? Isn't that natural? You gravitate toward people like you right?

All those things are true, but the reality for me, at this stage of my life, is that I want to believe God is using me to impact the kingdom. How is that even possible if all I do is surround myself with people who are already part of it? Maybe more problematic is the fact that I am attempting to lead others into a lifestyle of living the gospel in our world, and apparently, I am not doing it myself?

I guess what this fateful day really brings to light is the reality that as the "Church," we have really missed the mark, we have allowed our focus to move from what matters most. We have become so selfish in our understanding of evangelism, that we have actually convinced ourselves that we are being effective at spreading the gospel, without actually befriending people.

The gospel is to be lived, not preached. My life is a walking vessel for the love and grace of God, how can that vessel be effective in the world from a distance?

The biggest crime is that this empathetic, from a distance, throw some money, and maybe a prayer or two at it approach to the gospel has left the world believing that's who God is, when in fact, Jesus was, "The Friend of sinners."

I am thankful for this wake up call, and pray that the next time I have a birthday party, this revelation from God will show as life change, and be evident in the crowd that is there to celebrate with me.